A Minute with Mary: A Mother’s Role in her Child’s Healthy Weight

Mary Guignon Richards

If your child was facing a life threatening illness, would you take action? Of course you would. Yet, seemingly little action is being taken to confront childhood obesity. It’s common knowledge that there is a significant increase in childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes in children; this was nearly unheard of a decade ago.

A quick observation of children today makes this clear. Few would argue that we see far too many overweight, even obese children. Teenagers with the fat rolling over their waistbands and exposed stomachs walk around as if this is the new “in.” As a society we cannot be fooled by this. It is not “in” to be an overweight or obese child or teen.

Most importantly, obesity is not healthy. Obesity is a grave health concern, especially in children. Childhood obesity leads to the higher risk of poor health, and contributes to becoming an unhealthy adult. High cholesterol, high blood pressure and an increased risk of heart disease are linked to obesity.

Despite the well known health concerns, some mothers have cautioned that we need to be very “gentle” in dealing with our child’s weight issues. No authority figure has a right to tell you how to speak with your children about their health. Remember, you are the gatekeeper of your health and your children’s health. This is more than your right; it is your duty to help your children.

Recently, a mother shared with me that her youngest daughter was overweight. She herself was fit and ate well. However, her daughter ate like her “husband’s side of the family;” all of them are overweight. She continued to tell me that an article she read said parents should be careful, and even discouraged them in speaking with their children about being overweight.

Her dilemma was that she knew her child should not eat as much. She knew her daughter was on a bad trend. But more importantly, she didn’t want to “hurt” her daughter’s feelings or dampen her self-esteem. This mother was clearly struggling within. Her solution was to do nothing. I suggested that she not buy junk food and snacks and not bring them into the house. Her excuse was her husband purchased junk foods, and brought them home.

This is one example of a common situation in which a mother is conscientious about what she eats, but her children are overweight. The truth is children who are obese have more issues with self-esteem than those of normal weight.

Heckling, laughing, being left out, and being the “brunt” of children’s jokes are far worse for a child’s self-esteem than a mother’s intervention to help her child with weight issues. The earlier in life you intervene, the better it will be for your child.

Mothers are in charge of their children’s health. You are in charge of the food that comes into your home. When you grocery shop make sure your choices are healthy ones. Prepare healthy meals with fresh foods instead of fast foods. The time to teach your child healthy choices, good diet and the positive outcome is at a very early age.

A poor diet of high fat, high sugar, and high calorie foods that taste good, “fill” children’s stomachs on a budget, or make them “feel good” takes hold for life.

At the first sign that your children are on an unhealthy eating trend, communicate with them. Help them get back on track. Go over choices they make inside and outside the home. Speak to them about negative consequences of continued poor choices. Appeal to their intelligence and their desire to feel good and be healthy.

Teach your children the skills to choose and prepare healthy food early in life. Help them associate the pleasure and benefits of eating healthy, tasty food with the pleasure of good mental focus, and sustainable physical energy that will follow. This is something children want; it is up to you to help them make the connection to eating well and feeling well. With this will come a healthy self-esteem.